My mind is boiling with ideas at the moment. It is incredible the amount of stuff I have learnt in the past six months, how much I have grown. Through yoga and meditation and yogic philosophy and buddhist philosophy and work on myself (they are all the same). Some days I feel like I understand the laws of Life... (however pretentious as it may sound!)
It's been 10 years since I've been trying to figure out what I want to do in my life. After I finished my Business degree in 1999 I thought I'd work for a bit and then study something I'd enjoy and then find what I want to do from there. Well, I ended-up working for about 5 years, and then indeed I found that MSc in Developmental Linguistics. I thought, 'Great I'll do that and then I'll do a PhD since I had loved researching for my first dissertation - research for the sake of it'. As I wouldn't have wanted to do research in Business I had to find a field in which I could perform that research. So I had finally found a subject I'd love and I'd do research in that. But it's not that easy. In the last six months I've learnt so much about myself and I've had a lot of revelations and I have also learnt that a PhD would be a pointless option.
More specifically I have come to believe that Western science goes against human nature... I think Western people believe that they can rule Nature and that is a blatant illusion. Mother Nature made us, and Western human beings see things the other way round; we refuse the laws of Nature; we refuse Life. Nature made us and we behave as if we had made Nature. And Nature gives us countless signs and lessons, or attempts to, but we never listen to Her.
Every single time I read about Cognitive Neuroscience of Language that's what strikes me. Researchers keep wanting to refine their research (methodology) designs in order to refine their theories, in order to answer any possible questions. Researchers want to know exactly where syntax and morphology and phonology and semantics etc. are located in the brain. We know that, roughly, first language(s) acquired in an early age are located in quite a specific area of the left hemisphere of the brain, whilst subsequent languages (acquired after puberty) are more diffusely located across both hemispheres of the brain. But there are always exceptional cases cropping up, and designs are never quite appropriate and we should refined them in order to account for any variables and blah di blah di blah because we want to know exactly where this and that and that is, and we want to refine our stastistical designs and blah di blah di blah...
Well, it is never going to be perfect. Perfection doesn't exist anyway - or rather, on a higher level, perfection is. Researchers never seem to accept that we will never be able to account for all the variables, that we will never be able to know exactly how Nature works. That is because Nature made us and we will never ever, ever be able to pintpoint Her. Nature is way beyond us. We are within Nature and we will never be able to rise above Nature. So researchers spend lifetimes wanting to know this and that, endlessly, but where is the point of all this knowing when so many people need love and food and water and shelter and people still fight endlessly in the name of pieces of land, which, belong to no-one anyway!?!? So yeah, spending over three years of my life researching a very specific topic of linguistics would be pointless. I have learnt a lot about linguistics but I have learnt enough and there are too many things I'm interested in so getting too attached to one subject would mean missing out on too many others. I do want to spend my life researching in fact. I want to grow and I want to learn, always. But there has to be a point. And that point will always only be Dharma.
Science is this:
When we have a headache these days most of us take pain killers. But can science get rid of pain? Well no. However powerful a painkiller scientists manage to develop will not get rid of the pain because THAT is not the point. The point is that pain is a feedback from our body that should be understood, learnt from, and responded to appropriately. Pain should not just be numbed. Pain killers will never get rid of the pain because Nature is the only one to be able to ged rid of the pain and all science will be able to do is create an illusion that the pain is gone. The problem is still there. It is only hidden, and it will come back later in another form, often even more painful. We need to solve the root of the problem. And that science cannot do; only Nature can do. Western science goes against Nature because Nature always has the last say.
At the care home all the old folk take laxative to help their bowel move. Today one of the ladies was crying on the toilet. Do they drink water? No. They have about a glass of orange squash a day and lots of tea and caffein. And do they even get vegetables for dinner??? NO!!!
Blind, endless technological progress and hunt for profit work exactly the same way. Well, they are part of science anyway. Happiness doesn't come through acquiring more goods and gadgets precisely because we are nature and Nature doesn't work the way Westerners want it to work.
We never want to make an effort. We want results now. We want to lose 10 pounds now. We go to the gym and then overwork ourselves because we want to lose the weight now and then we're so knackered that we are discouraged. My aunty tried yoga and said it was not for her because it was not efficient. We don't take the time to do things properly. We want the achievement and refuse the effort. We want the end and refuse the mean. We want everything brought to us onto a plate. Life doesn't work that way. Effort is inevitable. If you try to avoid it, Life will always come back at you to try and teach you - but what do we do? We reject the lessons. We reject Life. We stress for our exams because we want that degree - all we can see is the certificate that comes at the end - but we try to avoid the learning. I don't honestly care if I get my MSc degree or not. The route is the most important because it is the learning. We always see beyond the path.
Note: It's not that I think (Western) science is completely useless!! We just should not assume that it is the only way to see/explain things (and we should never forget the point of why we do things). Besides logic and reasons do not account for everything. Intuition (our heart) is also very important...
A note on my three blogs
A note on my blogs
(1) vio; in love with india - this one is the main blog about my Indian adventures, which started in 2005. I don't write much on this blog these days because I prefer to write privately in the confidential blog. But check out the categories and the index to figure out your way. I have kept some older posts not about India but which I still find interesting or relevant in Old words. Also check out my new, fun category Only in India in which I post photos of funny, unique, Indian situations...
(2) vio; sounds of india - this is my blog of sounds, because India wouldn't be as incredible if it was not so vibrant and just so full of incredible sounds!
(3) vio; confidential - this an extension of my main blog in which I post entries I do not want to reveal to the entire webspace for privacy or sensitivity reasons. You must receive an invitation from me and then accept the invitation to be able to read it. You may email me if you are interested in receiving an invitation.