A note on my three blogs

A note on my blogs

(1) vio; in love with india - this one is the main blog about my Indian adventures, which started in 2005. I don't write much on this blog these days because I prefer to write privately in the confidential blog. But check out the categories and the index to figure out your way. I have kept some older posts not about India but which I still find interesting or relevant in Old words. Also check out my new, fun category Only in India in which I post photos of funny, unique, Indian situations...

(2) vio; sounds of india - this is my blog of sounds, because India wouldn't be as incredible if it was not so vibrant and just so full of incredible sounds!

(3) vio; confidential - this an extension of my main blog in which I post entries I do not want to reveal to the entire webspace for privacy or sensitivity reasons. You must receive an invitation from me and then accept the invitation to be able to read it. You may email me if you are interested in receiving an invitation.


Monday, 11 September 2006

Life is love

Life never seems to stop sending me Love, joy and reward, it seems. It even seems to spread into my work-life now. I had been trying to organise a meeting with another colleague and my 'client' for a few weeks - and today we just bumped into him by chance in the street, so went for the meeting from there, without having to organise it, as if Life had taken care of it for me...

On our way with my client we went passed a playground and my client said to me "I've passed that stage". I said to him that I had passed it, too, but then I finished work earlier than expected so I chose to go round to my friend Tif's after work... and guess what we ended up doing... going on the swings. Seriously, yeah we did, and we had so much fun...

She's into Aikido, and with me being more and more aware and skillful with my body through yoga, whenever I see her we show one another what we can do with our bodies. Various poses, most often inverted poses like headstands and handstands and shoulder stands or whatever it is. You know, things you used to do as kids but when you grew up you stopped doing... Today I am building, slowly but surely a body awareness I'd never had dreamt of having one day. I mean: I had "being upside down" phobia as a kid. After years of practice today I can do a fairly good headstand, and I love doing it so much! We don't realise how much good reversing gravity does to us... By letting the blood flow down through the heart and down to our heads that way. But there are various ways to come to a headstand and she does it one way and I do it my way and we explain how we do it to one another and then we learn, we try, with awareness. We fall, with awareness too. I didn't break my neck today as I was always (irrationally) scared of doing. I learnt something today - my consciousness shifted. I never knew I was ready to get into headstand without "jumping", just by shifting my gravity centre into balance, with control. It kind of happened.

Often we are scared of doing things, we think we can't do it, just from habit. Because we have always thought we'd have to do them one way and not another so we try one way, fail, carry on, but we never knew there was another way - we may not have thought of it, or Life may not have offered a new context for us to do it. And suddenly one day you may find yourself in a completely new situation and Hop! It happens, you did it this time. And from then on you can do it always...

It's just like when we learnt how to walk, when we were babies. You keep going, you keep trying. you've been trying for months or maybe years, and suddenly Hop! You do it. It seems sudden for outsiders because the manifestation of the trial couldn't be seen outside of yourself, because it was in your head, in your awareness, in your confidence... obviously invisible outside of yourself... And Hop! "Suddenly" one day, you walk.

Same with everything.... really.

So we were in the park, doing all sorts of postures around people looking and staring at us. What fun! On the grass. In the sun. With a little bit of wind. There were swings next to us and we ended up on them. And you know what? We never pass the age for swings and play. It's just one day, because we deem that we are "too big", well we stop paying attention. But go on a swing, turn round and round, feel how it feels, close your eyes, feel how it feels again. Go on a tape-cul (how on earth do you call this in English?), feel how it is to jump, let the judgement go, observe, pay attention. You can learn a hell of a lot about yourself, your body... And it is so much fun!

We stop paying attention so we desensitive our senses and our senses can no longer feel our body feedback, our taste-buds can't taste the intricate taste of an apple, we think it tastes boring when really what we do is condition our bodies to unnatural flavour just to please our unattentive senses... Just because we no longer pay any attention to whatever happens to o ur lives.

Since I have started yoga, since I have started active acceptance of whatever happens to me, since I have started being aware of that body I have and what many wonderful things I can do with it, since I have started to actively relax my body and use my energies better (i.e. no longer spending my energy rejecting what I don't like) by letting go, by focusing on my breath, by doing inverted postures when I have a cold, I can feel and sense so much more... I can love my open feet whenever they touch and feel the ground, I can enjoy stretching my hips and feel how good it is to me, I enjoy throwing my legs in the air, I can actively use my silliness whenever appropriate, I can feel when my neck is tense when I would never have noticed before and relax it again (thereby saving the energy I was using to "uselessly" tense that neck of mine!), I can feel how my back doesn't like it when I let it slouch...

I used to hate my feet because I used to look at them from the outside; today I love them because I look at them from the inside.

I used to hate my knees because I used to look at them from the outside; today I love them because I look at them from the inside.

I used to hate my legs because I used to look at them from the outside; today I love them because I look at them from the inside.

I just want to say this to the world: The truest, deepest way to happiness is this: whatever happens to you: stop, accept, and pay close attention. Honestly! Just try it! With faith, with patience, with experimentation, it all comes together... We become good naturally, because we realise how bad and violent we were to ourselves. And until you see, know, feel, realise it, you cannot undo it.

And then Life becomes amazing at all times - even when you experience pain, because you see beyond that pain.

All I do at the end of the day is walk in the sense of the wind, when most people try to walk against the wind. Go up the upwards-going escalator when most people try to go down it.

When you get to this awareness, everything seems so clear, so easy, so sensical and obvious, and you wonder how you could function otherwise some years back...