A note on my three blogs

A note on my blogs

(1) vio; in love with india - this one is the main blog about my Indian adventures, which started in 2005. I don't write much on this blog these days because I prefer to write privately in the confidential blog. But check out the categories and the index to figure out your way. I have kept some older posts not about India but which I still find interesting or relevant in Old words. Also check out my new, fun category Only in India in which I post photos of funny, unique, Indian situations...

(2) sounds of india - this is my blog of sounds, because India wouldn't be as incredible if it was not so vibrant and just so full of incredible sounds!

(3) vio; confidential - this an extension of my main blog in which I post entries I do not want to reveal to the entire webspace for privacy or sensitivity reasons. You must receive an invitation from me and then accept the invitation to be able to read it. You may email me if you are interested in receiving an invitation.


Sunday, 30 May 2010

TEFL, Edinburgh and softening my heart

the TEFL course is very very intensive indeed - and i should really be preparing for Tuesday's class, rather than writing in here. but typing is coming and it's good to let it happen while it lasts. so, the English teacher training course is good. intensive but good. it does give me a lot of good ideas for future (potential!) work, and it helps me having to actually teach to a class! it was rather daunting at first, but i survived, got good feedback, so from there it should be ok. First week is over - only just three to go and then I'll have a certificate. We have only about 10 students, in their early twenties. they are friendly and fun to teach. The group of trainees is lovely too. The first day I dreaded them all a bit (oh, that young American woman so stereotyped as though just out from an American blockbuster movie, urg!) but of course my heart has softened and I surprise myself with how much I do socialise. I don't care if they hang out more together than with me. I'm pleasant and nice and that is all that matters. Of course they'll be inclined to hang out more together, it's fair enough!

And on Friday I met with friends from the past. From the "goth" years or whatever they were. When I came back from India after a year, back in December 2008, I had felt out of it and judgemental. This time, I am only happy to see them whatever our differences are. I feel I am growing from living in India. I react to things that would have bothered me more softly every time I return to Europe. More tolerant and less judgemental. One may think that I'd rather get more and more out of it and disconnected, but in the contrary I do find myself more serene and grounded every time. What a pleasant surprise! I was very happy to see my ex (Nathan) and I spoke to old friends a lot more than I imagined. I have known them 10 years, wow, 10 years!

I also realise how lucky I am to have lived in Edinburgh, what a FANTASTIC city - especially in the area I lived in, and still am staying today. Forever grateful to my dear friend Robert who houses me every time. He is a lot happier and more social than he used to be and he is fun, fun, fun! I came on time for a wonderful wedding last week, caught up with some forgotten but delightful friends. I went back to a yoga class today - in my favourite yoga centre in the whole universe. Wasn't I lucky to find it at the top of my road all those nine years ago? I haven't found any better place anywhere else, even in India. And of course Edinburgh has such fantastic charity shops, that allow me not to feed into cluttering our planet with clothes.... Charity shops are illegal in France, apparently...

Edinburgh Castle

And I bought make-up yesterday. I hadn't bought make-up for well over five years. I was still using ancient stuff that probably isn't good for my skin (that's on the five times a year, if that, that I do need to wear make-up!) I went into The Body Shop where I had promised myself I would never set a foot ever again after L'Oreal bought it. And then I went into the shop and let the lady try eye-shadow on me and refurnished my collection (to last me another five years at least!) I surprised myself how nice and non-judgemental I was with this girl whom I would have found shallow, stupid and unbearable some years before. So what? I do my best. It is not a habit. It's probably the best I can get. And I no longer try to control things I can't change - rather, I manage to enjoy them while they last.

I feel a lot more tolerant and soft. A lot less exigent - but that is because we have a lot less choice in India and I have thus learnt to better accept what is. I used to be so picky on my food too. Of course I will still buy organic when I can. But if I can't I'll do my best and get over it. I do believe that “all that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become” (Buddha) and not getting worked up by what we cannot change may well be the most important...

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